Here are some really stupid-ass trading cards with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Before he was the guy that made a dickzillion hit movies in the span of the past year, before he got his own reality competition show on TNT that I still can’t figure out the point of based on the commercials, even before he was making really awful kid-friendly dreck like The Tooth Fairy, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a mega-huge star in professional wrestling.
Apparently, at one point he was so popular that his popularity warranted an entire series of trading cards devoted just to him. And so you ended up with a set sure to capture the hearts of “the people,” full of Rock’s greatest moments.

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Now you’re probably expecting some great shots of The Great One laying the “smack” down on various “jabronis,” and those cards do show up, but Comic Images wanted to really beef this set up, and really make The Rock seem human. Because if there’s one thing you can point to as the reason for The Rock’s early popularity as a wrestler, it’s definitely his humanity.

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That up there is the common man known as The Rock, holding a thing some refer to as a “book,” which he totally wrote by himself, like any normal person does.
And now, here are the 5 stupidest, most bizarre cards in the set…

#5: Yay Babies

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Dude, baby! Look out! The Rock is going to hit you with a People’s Elbow!

#4: It’s the Shoes

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This is Dwayne Johnson looking at a shoe. Will he buy the shoe? The back of the card postulates that he may indeed add it to his wardrobe.

#3: Canned Pasta and Ridiculously Overpriced Cars

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This is The Rock holding a large can of Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli while standing next to a Porsche with a Chef Boyardee license plate. Because nothing entices the “ladies” like the official Porsche of Chef Boyardee.

#2: Gone Fishin’

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That is The Rock fishing.

#1: The Rock Gets a Haircut

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No joke, this was the very first card I saw when I opened the first pack of these awful, awful cards.

I guess that horrible hairstyle doesn’t cut itself, huh?

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